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Ads And Why I Hate Them So Much

Ads are everywhere. You can't watch more than 15 minutes of TV without seeing a million of them. FM radio is spammed with them. Race cars have an ad on every single bit they think you might catch a remote glimpse of in a race. Newspapers and magazines are 50% ads by volume and weight these days. Buses, trains, planes, taxis, even some police cars, they all have small ads stuck on the side. You can't go within 10 miles of a city without seeing HUGE ads propped up on the side of the road, and the ones on the interstate are so brightly lit you can't see your own headlights over them sometimes. You can't hardly browse a single web page anymore without all sorts of ads popping up, either, absolutely necessitating the installation of Ad Block Plus or other similar program/plugin.


What is the main goal of these ads?

Most of them are trying to sell you useless, cheaply-made chinese junk you don't need. Take, for example, the Snuggie. Why the hell do you need a backwards robe? Blankets aren't hard to use to keep warm. I can do it. If I can, anyone can.


But if you think that's the end of it, that all they want to do is sell you useless junk, you're SORELY mistaken.

One of my personal most hated types of ads is the lawsuit ones. You know how they go...they start out with a disease, let's say Mesothelioma, and then they list a bunch of random occupations that may have exposed you to it. Then, they give you a number on screen and tell you to call and see if you can recover some damages.


WHAT THE :swearing:! Do we honestly need this :swearing: on TV, promoting frivolous lawsuits and ruining our already crippled and dying legal system?


BUT WAIT! There's more!


Drug companies are ALL OVER them. They'll make up a disease, which is really just a normal fact of living life in this century because we're overstressing our bodies while feeding them utter :swearing:, and then pop up a pill or drug that you must "Talk to your doctor about getting". Then they list a myriad of side effects, any one of them much worse than the disease itself, then give you a phone number to get a postage paid pamphlet and DVD detailing why you need to be on this drug.

Come the :swearing: on, guys...America's already drugged up enough. We don't need more peelz. Leave it to Left 4 Dead's survivors, mm'kay?

The ones that absolutely drive me up the wall, above all others, are the ones begging you to donate to a charity.

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not a heartless bastard that doesn't care about the plight of genuinely stricken people around the world. But I have my own troubles to deal with. I have a beat up old pickup I need to keep running so I can score a job somewhere, which will in turn allow me to repair said old truck into a state where it's more or less a nice truck again. Then, I have to buy myself a home, cover fuel, food, electricity, water, insurance(Many kinds, ugh), internets, my various and expensive hobbies, and on top of all of that I have to bail out jackasses in AIG and GM that ruin our economy through taxes. I don't have a dime left over at the end of the day to help the needy.


Not only that, but if I really wanted to help the needy, I'd help that hobo living behind the McDonalds in my own home town. Help him get cleaned up and back on his feet, get him employed again. I'll buy stuff from stores like Goodwill, which is one of the major employers of people like that hobo. Not only that, but I do have a truck. If a tornado were to strike within 40 miles, I'd volunteer my truck to help with the cleanup. Get these ads out of my face, damnit! 6ityjhiy


Ahh....you thought it's over, didn't you....well, it's not. Nowhere near. Now we head onto the internet, where there's barely any pages anymore ad-free. Here there is no laws governing the content. Porno, drugs(Illicit or not), scams, you name it. IT's probably in a banner or popup somewhere. Not to mention "WinAntiVir 2009!!!1!1!!one!". You were wondering why ABP was so popular, weren't you...


Even in the box of new electronics, there's an ad or two for something else from that company. Software usually has a link back to the dev's homepage, in the hopes you'll buy something else from them. My god, where will it end?


If Apple has any say in the matter, it won't stop there. Soon, ads will be served DIRECTLY FROM A MAC'S DESKTOP! Holy crap, if these ads invade any deeper they'll call the military to repel them!


This is why I have a near zero tolerance on ads, and explicit zero tolerance on popups. I TIVO all my shows and watch them after they've aired, so I can skip the ads. When I buy a newspaper or magazine, I tear out as many ads as I can right at the point of sale. I do everything I can to escape these bastards. No, I don't want a Snuggie. No, I don't want to sue every company that builds anything because I might have Mesothelioma. No, I don't want to be on Excite. No, I don't want a new Prius.

I JUST WANNA WATCH THE GODDAMN F1 RACE! AHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH


Thank you, good night.

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