In these past few years of High School I haven't thought much of my sleeping habits. I swim miles a day, go to AP classes, and am still growing quite a bit. I have always said this, and my mom also, as a sort of "excuse" for my sleeping habits. Now that I am in my Junior year and thinking a lot more about life, my ambitions, what I want to do with my life, thoughts of my character and even my mental health have started.
This year is possibly the most important of my life. AP classes that will potentially save me thousands of dollars, an ACT score that can get me into the college of my dreams, and upholding relationships that could possibly lead to lifelong companionship. All this, and yet I still find myself sleeping too much. I feel like I do not have control over my sleeping habits. Some people can simply say "I fight it" or "I drink coffee, whatever works". Few people understand what I feel, my brother being an exception. I experience a feeling of tiredness that many times cannot be fought. My ability to concentrate dies out completely, and bed seems to be the only option. Coffee and energy drinks have not worked for a long time, not since junior high. I can drink multiple cups and feel no improvement, often ending up in bed shortly after.
These thoughts about two weeks ago. I had come back from a swim meet and managed to sleep 14 hours overnight. Yes, I was tired. Yes, I did swim the day before very early in the morning. No, I still do not believe this is normal.
A large part of this worry for myself and my health is not all due to the length of my sleeping. I always feel tired. I wake up in the morning, no matter if I slept two hours or eight, I feel the same way. I can go to sleep at four in the morning, wake up two hours later for practice and perform the same that I would perform with a long nights rest. All through the day I seem to trot along, dragging my legs through the hallway and thinking about nothing. I am not exactly a bland person, I don't think so, but I am not energetic enough to express myself in the ways I would like. All this has made me come to this conclusion: I do not remember the last time I felt well rested. I don't know what that feels like.
Many people say that this can be due to depression. I am not depressed, or at least I don't think so. I have a girlfriend, my family is holding strong and we are mostly content with each other, and I have good chances of making it in to the college of my dreams. Others say I need exercise, fresh air, go out more, all of which I do quite often.
I know I should be consulting a doctor about this, I'm pretty sure I am going soon. It's nice to write it out here though.
Thanks for reading.
P.S. I don't think I have any sleeping problems. I never sleep walk, I don't sleep talk, or at least not often, and I don't have any dreams that would keep me at unrest.
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