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Fighting Till Success Brings Death

So since I ever laid eyes on the hideous vehicle my dad so graciously gave me for free (read: I really am thankful for a brand new car that never has reliability issues), I have yearned for a car that excited me.

My dad just does not understand what it is like to be an adrenaline junkie. For me, driving is what sets me high. Sure I can do drugs, but there is something about the art of high performance driving that just puts me in a different world. Nobody I know understands it. NOBODY. I cry inside everytime I try to talk to someone about it because they all call me a crazy driver. I drove with one guy I didn't know, he asked me to take him home in a hurry and he, to my surprise, thanked me and commented on how amazing of a driver I was

Anyhow back to the original idea, I have long wanted a car that suits my driving style... My dad bought me a Nissan Versa. Front wheel drive, open differential, disgusting ratios, 5 inch wide econo tires.

I recently brought up the fact that I am interested in buying a new car. He asked what car, I said Hyundai Genesis Coupe. He looks at me and to my surprise again, he starts going on tangent about "you know this car is supposed to compete with Mercades and BMW". I said "So? Thats a good thing RIGHT? The car starts at 20 grand".... You know what he says... "No it doesn't. It can't".
I stop him right there and give him an earful, every time he tries to interrupt me, I don't let him because I'm just on this ridiculous roll cus I've been dying for a car that really suits me. The Genesis Coupe I've recently seen really fits what I want: Affordable rear wheel drive performance.

So finally after I get it out, he seems convinced, says 'ok we can talk more later'... parting good byes are exchanged and I leave.

Few days later, I'm over for dinner again and I bring it up again about me wanting the car and I asked on why he was so against it.

He goes on some crazy rant about how I can't afford the car. I said 'wait a second, if I put a decent down payment and finance a bit, it will only cost me $300-400 a month plus basic insurance will only run me $200 per year, gas is nothing, I can afford an extra few hundred a month if I went full-time at my job..'

He says.... '$300? HAH, try $1000 a month for that car. Your car payment is going to be 600-700 and you NEED full coverage insurance which is going to cost you at least 300 bucks a month. You really want to pay $1000 a month for basic transportation?'

Okay well the biggest problem I have here is I'm not buying a god damn sports car for basic transportation. Second problem: I'm not gonna finance the entire 30 grand over a 36 month loan LOL, thats just retarded. I plan on putting at least 8k down, and I told him that, and he still pulls this number out of his ass? JESUS TAPDANCING CHRIST.

For anyone that has known or followed the legacy of how ignorant my father is, this is just another trend he is following with not making sense.

Regardless.... He obviously doesn't care to look at the logical side of this, and he assumed I'm going to be buying the most expensive trim and paying MSRP lol. Thoughtful, huh?

Anyhow, enough negative ranting man, I don't like making a sob story out of my blog posts

approximately 2.5 weeks ago I was approached by this beautiful girl, young, maybe 2 years younger than I (18)... and as soon as I saw her crying face, I lost. Like Instantly LOST. Naturally, I went up and asked what was wrong etc etc as I had just got off work and was headed home... she didn't have enough money for gas to get home and her parents won't help her. So I helped push her car to the gas station on the end of the parking lot and I filled her tank up for her (GAS).. She thanked me, hug, yada etc..
[tangent] The whole reason why I instantly lost to this face (ladies if you ever want a piece of me, read this) was this girl's eyes. There's this really specific look I just melt for, its kinda hard to describe... where the girl has thicker lower eyelids and big dark eyes... dear god I can't help but stare and want to never let go of that face.. I (believe it or not) LOVE it when said women has no makeup on. I think makeup ruins a beautiful face. This girl was basically something I would see in my dream...[/tangent]... I talked with her for a bit and apparently shes from opposite side of town, like 40 minute drive man. I figured I would never see her again and wished her luck in the future.

2 days ago (from posting this) I saw the same girl again. I shat my pants upon noticing her walking my direction... My thoughts 'was I lied to? Does she want more $? Is she lost?'
She approached me and in an ever so soft and cute voice asked me for money so she can get gas for her car so she can make it home tonight. I LOL'd so hard and asked her if she recognized me... Course she said NO. I lol'd a bit more and she asked why I laughed. I pointed out about 2 weeks ago I had given her an entire tank of gas and she flipped her lid all embarrassed. I felt deep regret for helping this poor lil begger.

So after talking with her I got a nice tale as to why she was begging for money. I said bye and sent her on her way, no gifts this time. I started asking around at work if my co-workers had spoken to this girl... apparently she has been asking EVERY ONE for cash LOL!!! Damn do I feel dumb. I got the store manager to get the cops to pull her ass out.

Recently I've been struggling with College.. I've come to a realization that I'm going nowhere at all. My classes are boring, I'm not doing as good as I should, I'm not interested in passing, I'm not interested in progressing, I don't care about school anymore. The benefits are not visible to me. I've made my decision already, I'm just going to drop out of college/university. It just isn't for me. I just don't care about it right now. Its not my priority and I can't make it one, my mind just isn't willing. I know down the road I might regret it or wish I did not, but right now, I've wasted 3 semesters, spent 5 semesters on classes, and have no tangible feeling of success or progression or where its taking me. I'm going to stop wasting my money on it. I can support myself on $11 per hour for now.. till I need more, Ill just sit on it.

Lately I feel like life is on cruise control.. I just take things real easy.. Enjoy life as it comes Overall mood lately has been fantastic


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