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Freedom To Disagree To Have Opinion

I can't believe how long I haven't posted an entry. That's probably a good sign, or perhaps not. Either means I'm doing well or I'm just really busy. In this case I'd probably say both.

I don't know why, but I seem to only fret to write something down when I'm frustrated or annoyed by something. Even in my most optimistic of works, I was frustrated by something. I often see this as a problem. Like I've said before, it may be a mistake that I don't take time to highlight to good things that happen, instead of just venting about the bad. I still say that now, but yet here I am again in the same routine.

First of all, school is damn tough for me this quarter. Introduction to Chemistry, Precalculus 2 (again. I HATE this class; can't wait for calc as it's supposedly easier), Computer Science: Intro to Java, and Argument and Persuasion. All the classes combined put a HUGE dent in my free time, and it doesn't help that I have a girlfriend now I need to give attention to.

The worst part of having this free time sucked up is the mess I have at home seldom gets cleaned, and the projects I used to have time for get thrown out or ignored. Example? My first case mod, Project Hollow. To the individual responsible of disposing the time and effort I had put into that: thank you kindly, jack***. Another example? I have an Xbox 360 taken apart with a few components desoldered which I have meant to solder back. Has it happened yet? Not a chance.

On top of this, I slave in and out to help friends with homework, because in my friend circle, I am the English expert. I'm the one who proofreads, who corrects, who edits, and helps brainstorm. I love helping friends, I really do, but I'm most annoyed when appreciation isn't shown for it.

The last thing adding up to this frustration is very little, but was enough to shift my attitude. My girlfriend has a wisdom tooth coming in, is not doing hot in her accounting class and will likely have to retake it, and then after her accounting class she was pissed for whatever reason and got upset when I asked saying "If I don't want to tell you, I don't have to right?"

She has a point though, I certainly don't have to be told. But like anyone who would be even slightly concerned, I'd like to know. I knew I wasn't going to be told anything, so I said "No, you don't have to." and left it at that. But it makes me wonder what's going on with her sometimes.

Whenever I get like this, I'm reminded of a song that sarcastically talks about not being allowed to have negative emotions when in a relationship. She is allowed to be mad or sad if she so chooses. Though often it isn't a choice. I think it's weird sometimes how we think of the perfect relationship and imagine it to be flawless and mesh together seamlessly. However, to expect something like this is the furthest from reality one could wander. Most of us desire authentic and genuine significant others.. If you think about it, a significant other constantly happy contradicts that-- fabricated or "plastic" happiness is not genuine.

I'm still frustrated that I'm not let in on what the main thing that pissed her off was, but I'm frustrated because I'd like to help if I can-- nothing bred by immaturity. I'll just wait it out, and if she wants to tell me, I have reason to believe she will.

Music choice today is unrelated to the subject; it's just relaxing for me to listen to. Cool video too.



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Overclock.net › Member Blogs › Freedom To Disagree To Have Opinion