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How About A Toast To

... those that wear sunglassess because it's easier than explaining which 'friend' you got in a fight with this time.

... those that drive with the windows rolled down no matter how cold it is because you like to feel the air.

... those that act on only emotion and regret pulling into that driveway and getting out of your car.

... those that know they should shut their mouth, ignore the phone call, and keep driving - but don't.

... those that live in their own minds, no matter how broken or dangerous the thoughts are.

... those that try to fix things that go wrong even if it's not their fault.

... those who don't know how to react when someone pulls them close.

... those that can't take everything in stride all the time.

... those who had everything and lost all of it.

... those that hurt.

But all the small things make up the big picture.
And all the small things make me happy.

A long shower. Not too cold and not too hot. The kind where you just stand there and let the water run on your head and down your neck and across your chest. It doesn't matter how long you torment yourself with your own thoughts because it's just you and water. Everything will be alright, until the water shuts off and you pull the curtain back. It's the cocaine of waking up early.

Savannah's mom asking me if I want some coffee. Not fancy, but not plain. I'm not a fan of coffee but there's something about getting coffee and not ordering it, just walking in and being asked if you're thirsty this morning and saying yes ma'am. Being around Savannah's and her family set the morning off right. It makes actually getting up and going to school bearable.

Little things I do. Making other people happy makes me happy. I'm just now learning the best thing I've got from my mom is slowly learning to be selfless. There's a good bit of pleasure found in bringing someone an unexpected present, even if it's just seeing them when they're sick. Tuesday was one of those days. The smile on Veronica's face when I left made me think she might actually have liked the gesture of me stopping by more than the OJ and ice pops.

Colors. Some days I'll get pissed off and just lay on my bed and look out the window and try to find the deepest shade of each color I can see. It's simple but fascinating and at the same time it completely changes my mood. I want to tell everyone the colors I see but I know it'd be a lost cause it'd never be something you can explain.

If everything were that simple, there would be no reason for expecting the worst and drinking to cure depression before it even kicks in.


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