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Life In General 040709

Gogo scatterbrain blog.

I'm starting to feel a bit of a forward motion again. It's been a while, but it's nice to have a sense of it back.

Occasinally in the past two weeks, I've wanted to break out in a fit of rage. I'm a very peaceful guy, but as I've mentioned in previous entries, I can be very vindictive. The catch is, guilt from my wrongs consume me. It's difficult to supress myself, but I can't always be in a cycle of rip and repair. When I only have two options, I need to supress and remove myself in the more comfortable (and the more "right") of the two.

I caught word recently that one of my old HS friends is moving back to my city for good, and my other old HS friend is trying to get him to move in with him and his other roommate at a 2 bedroom apartment. I'd like my own place sometime.. Maybe when one of my job applications goes through I could find a place. Maybe this friend coming back could be my roommate eventually.. Then again, maybe Adam. Dunno who else I could trust.

Something I'm feeling alongside this forward motion i've felt is a bit of panic. If politics and religion were two things I could speak of here, I'd elaborate further. I'll just condense this complex issue in my mind and present it in a nice and clean package, complete with a pretty pink ribbon: I'd like to live in Japan. (yeah, doesn't really explain anything at all)

I grow tired of individuals who don't believe in cause and effect. Very tired.

Sometime I'd like to finish up college for good, but it becomes a problem when I need money both for it, and for other stuff.

My parents never graduated from college, yet my family has been pretty well to do (father owns reputable plumbing co. around Seattle). I wonder if I could be well off on my own if I were bilingual and used that to my advantage in Japan. I guess I can only dream for now.

My computer and I are always in a love hate relationship.

Despite my gripes, I've been somewhat lucky as of recent. I won an 80mm fan from verrater, $25 from OCN, I recieved a free copy of MS Office Project Standard 2007 (retail) and I bought a 4 pack of Pepsi Natural for $5 that had a slip inside to a very short survey that earned me $20... So basically I was paid to drink Pepsi Natural? That's kind of cool.

The skies are certainly bluer, I just wish I could keep them in a blue shade at all. I'd like them to be a true blue, but maybe there's a misconception about a true blue sky. Perhaps that's the sky you always chase but never really reach. Something like running towards the moon. You know it exists, and you know you're getting closer, but few have actually been there. I guess the ones that eventually made it traveled on more than just foot.

Today my visual and audio aid are the same. Enjoy:
"Green Bird" by Yoko Kanno from the 5th episode of Cowboy Bebob: Ballad of Fallen Angels.

-timx

All comments welcome.

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