Or at least that's how it feels sometimes. Where to start.. Seriously.
Well, for one I'm pretty concerned about how my Dad's doing. I spent four days with him in Arizona and had a great time with him.. Everything was fine and all.. I mean there was no fighting, it was actually quite the opposite. What I'm particularly concerned about is his business.
Here in the Seattle area he owns Tacoma Plumbing and Heating Inc., originally founded by his father. They have been in the industry for at least 40 years now, and within the past decade they've really made a respectable name for the company. Always striving for honest business, to the extent of my Dad taking the bulk of the work for himself.. When you're estimating how many parts you'll need for commercial plumbing work and submitting a bid, you don't want to charge people ridiculous prices or underbid if you want work.
He doesn't have an assistant to help with this because it's hard to find someone to trust to do the job right.. And well, quite frankly, I'm not interested in plumbing. I'm more interested in computer networking than anything else. Go figure. It's like plumbing for computers.
At the start of the year he probably had 80 employees... In the past few months he's laid off about 60 of them, and every other week I always hear something to the effect of "Today's _ _ _ _ 's last day.. ", and it's hard to think about, because some of these people that my father has made efforts to take care of in the past.. And it's difficult because I can't imagine how I would feel if I were in his shoes. Nearly 50% of his competitors are estimated to be gone next year.. and there's a chance he's not in the upper 50%, but with the company's standard and local reputation.. I'd like to think we'll be okay.
On the bright side, I managed to get him to stop taking Ambien. I researched it like any other drug or pill and discovered it can double your chance of depression. It was obvious it was affecting him, because one day he said he bought a gun to help us out and that his 1 year warranty on his life insurance would be expiring in 18 days. I couldn't believe he said that, and I don't think my Mom could either (she cried and ran out of the room that day).
He's okay now though and has been off Ambien for two weeks. Ever since he's been leaps and bounds better in mood, but that still doesn't change how tough work is now. I also learned recently that he didn't actually buy his gun. It was given to him by a good family friend (Ed) who happens to be one of his employees. None of us like the idea of having a gun tied to our household (including Ed for his own), whether it's inside or not..
But the way Ed put it was times are getting tougher, and he believes that soon people will be stealing for more than just "quick cash". It's possible people will resort to stealing just to survive. Sometimes that's the same thing, but Ed believes it could get worse. In his words, "I don't like the idea of having a gun either, but if someone comes after my family, I'm going to protect them". I'm extremely relieved to hear that's the reason behind the gun issue. Besides, my dad knows we love him-- He might not be the greatest at everything, but even in his imperfection I'd never give him up. And no, I'm not going to rick roll anyone here.
Now that family woes have resolved themselves (mostly; still obviously going to put in more effort for better atmosphere), A friend of mine has been missing for a while. A few weeks ago I noticed he deleted his profile on myspace. Well I'm no myspace addict, but I know this friend used to be one (and still sort of has been).. So if he deletes his profile it usually means something.
I must have blogged about seeing my old High School friends again, but when I first came in contact with Justin (same guy as above), he told me "Andrew, I've got something to tell you.. aannndd you're probably gonna **** your pants when I tell you... I'm havin' a kid".
If your stomach, heart or similar just sank, I seriously don't blame you. The same has happened to me whenever I've thought about this. I love Justin like a brother, but I know he's not equipped to be a parent at 19.. And just a few months before his baby's born, he apparently got in a fight with his girlfriend (which has happened before) and disappeared. I don't know where he is because he has no cell, has not been on Xbox Live for a while, deleted his myspace, poked me on facebook but hasn't replied to my message.
It was heartbreaking to read what his girlfriend had to say in a blog of hers. She said that if he couldn't give her the love she thought she had to at least give their daughter that love. I have nothing against Desi, so I sent a message to her saying I was sorry to hear about it-- she's really distraught. I told her that after the baby is born she should consider an anti-depressant with her doctor. I swear, if I didn't have a roof under my head since the end of High School, I would have became a complete deadbeat. I lost so much time to misery, and this small dosage of Prozac I've been taking has turned most of it completely around. If I had known how much it would have helped before, I could have saved so much of that time I wasted, so I wanted to recommend it to her, especially considering she'll be taking care of a baby soon.
I guess you can say I've started to spin with the world rather than just watching it, but maybe I just don't understand the impact of my actions sometimes. I'm getting closer and closer to a constant motion, and every step is going to help in times like these.
Probably noticed the key next to this blog entry. Well, I'm sure most of you know, but that means this is a private entry. Nothing in this is too critical or sensitive, but I would still very much appreciate it if this stuff stayed inside these virtual walls. Heh, If I didn't think I could trust any of you enough, I probably either wouldnt have posted or wouldn't have added you as a friend here. But anyway... pretty personal stuff here.
Take care everyone. Hope all is well with you all.