zorpnic

Smoked Turkey - a la old school

1 - 12 lb. turkey (if frozen, be sure to compensate for proper defrosting times)1
1 - Good digital cooking thermometer
roughly 20-25 pounds of assorted wood chips
A pair of oven mitts and a couple of pot holders
1 - 8" aluminum mixing bowl
3 - 15 oz. chicken broth for basting (optional)
Turkey baster (optional)
Several packs of aluminum foil (At least 5 packs of long aluminum foil)

-----Turkey Rub-----
INGREDIENTS:

* 1/4 cup olive oil
* 1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
* 1 tablespoon white wine
* 1 tablespoon balsamic vinegar
* 4 teaspoons fresh rosemary, chopped
* 4 teaspoons fresh thyme, chopped
* 4 teaspoons onion, minced
* 4 teaspoons garlic, minced
* 2 teaspoons salt

PREPARATION:
Combine all ingredients and mix well. Store in the refrigerator.

-----Stuffing for turkey-----

Savory Mushroom Dressing

8 slices white bread, cut into 1/2-inch pieces
1 1/2 pounds mixed mushrooms, such as cremini and shiitake
2 to 3 tablespoons unsalted butter, plus more for the pan
2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
6 shallots, sliced
4 cloves chopped garlic
1 tablespoon minced fresh rosemary
1/4 cup Cognac, or other brandy
2 cups chicken broth, homemade or low-sodium canned
2 teaspoons kosher salt
1 cup heavy cream
3 large eggs, beaten
Freshly ground black pepper
1/4 cup chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.

Spread the bread cubes out on a baking sheet and toast in the oven until golden and crisp, about 5 minutes. Set aside to cool.

Trim the dry part from the bottom of the cremini stem and quarter. Stem and quarter the shiitakes. Melt 2 tablespoons of the butter with the olive oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Add the mushrooms, shallots, garlic, and rosemary and cook, stirring occasionally, until the vegetables soften and brown, about 25 minutes. Add an additional tablespoon of butter, if needed, to prevent sticking. Carefully add the Cognac (if working over gas, pull the skillet from the heat), and simmer until the liquid is slightly syrupy. Stir in the chicken broth and salt and bring to a simmer.

Whisk the cream, eggs, and pepper, to taste, in a large bowl. Add the bread, mushroom mixture, and parsley and toss until the bread is moistened. Transfer the dressing to a buttered 1 1/2-quart baking dish. Bake, uncovered, until the dressing sets and the top browns, about 1 hour. Let dressing sit for 15 minutes before serving.

Set aside until later. Now for the computer....

Take an old computer with the wrap around box top case, sand it free of paints and other debris and then clean it off with a wet down napkin first, then a paper towel lightly coated with vegetable oil to ensure a debris free enclosure. Next, remove all plastic pieces so that nothing melts during the process of a heat element being involved. You'll be left with a bare aluminum shell and innards. Wrap around the inside of the case with several sheets of aluminum foil until it's about 1.5-2.5 centimeters thick.

Bend out the folds on the case so that they're respectively 45 degrees on one side, level on the top piece, and 135 degrees the other side. \_/ by looks if laid flat on top piece. Wrap thoroughly with aluminum foil until it has a thickness of about 1cm. Crimp the foil at the bottom so it looks rounded at the bottom. It should look like a somewhat rectangular bell made out of aluminum foil and a metallic flat top.

Next, weld a 1/2" thick metal rod to the center of the motherboard tray, exactly 27" high. Take the 8" mixing bowl, and drill a hole into it. Place it at the bottom of the rod. Weld sealed at the bottom to ensure that it will catch all the drippings. Then, thread a washer on at the top of the rod. Set it down about 3". This is to place the turkey on, with room left over to act as a prop for the case enclosure made into a dome smoker with a dripping pan. Drill a hole in the top of the wrap around case 5/8", so that the rod can easily be caught by the washer and stay in a fixed area.

Get various types of wood chips... apple, hickory, mesquite, cherry, oak, and maple. These seem like good wood types to cook with. Mix said woods together in any fashion you'd like and dump around the motherboard tray until they're roughly 3" from the top or the frame, making room for the dripping pan.

The preliminary steps are out of the way... let's talk turkey!

When your turkey is properly thawed, take your rub, and now, put it on your turkey. Take your stuffing and insert it into the turkey if you'd like. If not, it can be eaten as a side dish, and won't affect your turkey in any way.

With or without stuffing, slowly put your turkey on the rod. If stuffing comes out, it's fine. Remove it and dispose of it properly. Don't eat food from raw poultry. It contains salmonella and has the potential to kill you or harm you badly.

Ignite your wood, get the fires running hot. Make sure they're between 220F and 240F. It's important to have it that hot or you won't properly cook your turkey. A quick reading from your thermometer will help here. Plan on cooking your turkey 30-40 minutes per pound. It's a good measure, so for a 12 pound turkey, you're looking at 6-8 hours, maybe 10. Keep your fire stoked, and make sure to add fresh wood to the fire as needed. Be careful not to over smoke a turkey, especially if you are doing a long smoke. Now, not everyone can do all this. I understand as much, but, this is an inventive

Baste your turkey as you see fit. If it isn't desired, you don't have to, but your turkey may come out dry.

You are going to cook your turkey to an internal temperature must reach 165 degrees F. This means that the coldest part of the turkey is 165 degrees F. This isn't a suggestion. Test in at least two places and remember that turkey bones heat faster so keep the thermometer away from bone and white meat cooks faster than dark meat. Smoked turkey has a different color and texture than oven roasted turkey. The meat may appear pink and have a smoother texture. This is normal. The smoking process causes a chemical change in turkey that causes this color change. As long as the turkey registers a temperture of 165 degrees F. it is safe to eat no matter the color.

When finished, eat... enjoy... HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

Credits: About.com for the rub recipe and some of the research on smoking a turkey, and Food Network for the stuffing recipe

All the other crazy stuff was me

__________________
The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
George Bernard Shaw
Next in importance to freedom and justice is popular education, without which neither freedom nor justice can be permanently maintained.
James A. Garfield

bucdan

ur a cheater...it's gotta be unique!!!...even though the rules dont state that...but its alot more fun and interesting if u do it urself!

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Fold Moar For the Cause, Fold Moar For the Future.

I am 45% addicted to Counterstrike. What about you?
I am 62% addicted to World of Warcraft. What about you?

8% of teens have moved on to "real music". If you are part of the 92% who still listen to rap, copy and paste this.

zorpnic

you CAN do that yourself with patience. Turning an old computer case into a smoker isn't unique? Well then, apparently my talents aren't appreciated.

__________________
The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
George Bernard Shaw
Next in importance to freedom and justice is popular education, without which neither freedom nor justice can be permanently maintained.
James A. Garfield

Sidious

Turkey A La PC

Minimum Requirements:
Hardware:

• 1 Potato
• Schneiders Lunch Mate Stackers - Turkey Dinde
• 1 Carrot
• 1 Can of Preferred Gravy
• 7.8cm x 2.3cm Foilware Tin Cup
• Vantex Tornado (substitutable with any stupidly high RPM fan)
• Spare X-Connect Power Supply with cables
• Computer Rig featuring high temp CPU

Software:

• ATI Potato Tool V3.01 or Later
• Butterball - Advanced Cooker BETA BIOS

Procedure:

Step 1: First, flash your Bios to revision BBACBB – Butterball Advanced Cooker Beta Bios. This will ensure a quality gourmet meal. Boot into BIOS and change settings to the following.



Step 2: Look at the the incredible base finish provided by Bake King. This will be aid greatly with the heat transfer. We’ve opted to use Tuniq TX2 thermalpaste to ensure maximum transfer.



Apply the paste sparingly and firmly mount the Turkey to the high heat output CPU.



Step 3: Nobody likes a stock potato. Luckily ours is PCI-express 24x and yes, it is PCI-e 2.0. Use ATI Potato Tool v3.01 or later to excel your potato to tastes never before known to mankind. These potatoes overclock very well and cook best without any form of cooling.




Step 4: What would thanksgiving be without a nice fresh carrot? Preferred cooking method is up to you, we found it best to soak in watercooling reservoirs for 3+ hours. After your carrot is nice and flimsy we can take our friend Mr.Vantec and slice and dice it into bite size pieces. We’ve included a video for all you do-it-yourselfers out there.




Kids, we suggest adult supervision, as it can get pretty messy. As the fan was spinning a small puppy was running towards the fan. To save this little fella’s life I put my own body on the line, stopping the fan with what is now only half a finger. Vantec has claimed the tip of my pinky.



Step 5: Once you have fried your potato (or baked should I say) it is time to sacrifice it to the oveclocking gods. Our friend Ultra-X connect was eaten for breakfast by an 8800gts 640mb. These 2 dead products reunite to keep us overclockers from starvation. Here is how we suggest mashing these potatoes.


Note: Serve with fresh ground pepper.

The X-Connect has served its purpose, and boy is it messed up. You did your job, X-Connect, and now you’re dead.


sorry for image quality on this one, not sure what happened

Step 6: Oh Davey…I mean…Gravy. Uh. Yes, it’s that time. The meal is coming to an end and we need gravy. X-connect makes its second star appearance as it’s wires play a whisk in the adventure that is mixing gravy. Heat, stir, eat. It’s just that easy!



Final Step: Now that everything is cooked up and overclocked its ready for its debut on Overclock.net. Here you have it, the final touches being applied to the gourmet hungry man style dinner we call Turkey A La PC.




Kopi and I would like to thank everyone at crucial and overclock.net for this awesome promotion. I had some great laughs, I’m sure a few more than Kops since he’s dealing with half a finger being lost. And he has the clean up that smashed potato in his backyard. Hope you enjoyed our meal.

__________________
Crucial Ballistix Club

As presented to the Continental Congress, Thomas Jefferson’s version of the Declaration was made up of 1,817 words; Congress made 68 changes, cutting 480 words, which left the finalized document’s word count at 1,337 words.
--> Thats right... The Declaration of Independence contains 1337 words!

||LAW||Doom

dude your my hero

__________________

dotcomthese

that is one good piece of work..Siduous..If they take in account of reps for nice recipe then add this one...good job!!!!!

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Kopi

Boy was that fun. My finger is a little chopped lol, those vantecs spin FAAAAAAAST. But, I had to save the puppy.

I just took a broom and swept all the potato into the neighbours yard. They wont know .

Fun times sid...fffffuuuuuuuun times!

__________________

Sidious

your parents thought we were the biggest idiots on the block..... damn they were spot on haha!

__________________
Crucial Ballistix Club

As presented to the Continental Congress, Thomas Jefferson’s version of the Declaration was made up of 1,817 words; Congress made 68 changes, cutting 480 words, which left the finalized document’s word count at 1,337 words.
--> Thats right... The Declaration of Independence contains 1337 words!

ThaLoveDocta

**** Sidious and Kopi you guys are amazing.

I think we found the winners.

fofokinha

My vote is yours Sidius and Kopi!!! you put some time into this, I hope Sam gives each one 2Gigs