r3goob

It's that time of the year again, Thankgiving, only time of the year when the turkey population gets a big hit in numbers.

Now it's time to get your computer up and running, install your TV tuner card if you haven't already and start watching your favorite shows on the food network channel.

Chose from hundreds of stars, including, Atlon Brown, Emeril Lagasse, Rachel Ray, Paula Deen, as they show you their special turkey recipes, tips and tricks and step by step guide to the perfect Turkey dinner.

Record your favorite star or your favorite recipe on your computer and play it back whenever your ready to cook your very own Turkey.

The food network is loaded with great turkey recipes, and now is the time to use your pc and tv tuner card to their fullest.

jdub01984

I am growing weary of all the overclock your processor, remove heatsink, and bake turkey, LOLZ!!! posts. Granted it was funny the first time, but everyone else does not need to use the same idea.

So without further ado I give you the l33t h@xor turkey cooking technique.

STEP 1 : Grab your turkey, and your linux-laden notebook, and make your way down the street to where you will find this - .

STEP 2 : Load up your favorite hacking software/tools.

STEP 3 : Make sure you are wearing sunglasses.

STEP 4 : Hack into the cell tower and direct its entire signal at your turkey.

STEP 5 : Overclock the cell tower and increase the frequency.

STEP 6 : Wait about 5 seconds and turn the turkey.

STEP 7 : Hope to God you didn't just give yourself brain damage.

STEP 8 : Enjoy your golden brown Turkey.

STEP 9 : Watch me install my new Crucial Ballistix Memory.

bucdan

1. Go out and buy 2 Large Turkeys to feed your whole family and neighbors. Having a nice gathering. Since Thanksgiving is a time to give back and come together. Preheat Oven to 350 Degrees F

2. Use the computer to get instructions on cooking the turkey and how to slice and add the stuffings(as for we are mostly all guys).

3. cut and slice carrots, potatoes, maybe pumpkin and lime or lemon. place carrots and potatoes inside the turkey as stuffing. Use like to squeeze on the outside/inside of turkey for some sour kick.

4. Use the computer AGAIN!!! to find a nice asian(laotian specifically because the goal of asian taste/flavor is to get the 4 S's Sweet,Sour,Salty,Spicy all in one bite!) marination to apply to the turkey.

5. Place turkey in oven, heating at 350 degrees F; place temperature meter in turkey

6. oven cook for a long and boring 7 hours. Every hour, reapply marination maybe use a marination shot tube to get the marination inside the turkey also try with the lime and or lemon to get the kick.

7. Test Turkey, Perfect? Serve and enjoy with mash potatoes, pumpkin pie,apple pie...all types of pies!!!, baked potatoes, carrots and some nice apple cider, alcohol(if age verfied) or whatever you like and also gravy!!!. Done!

I'll probably be doing this myself, and challenge my mom to the best turkey! That's why there is two . Even though she does a quite similar recipe...but mine is Overclock.net style...with the computer and stuffings, etc...just the idea of the asian marination is shared. but that's ok since you can't truely be the special one when it comes to food.

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wallyworld96

With this you can get cooking directions, nuke a turkey, find good advice on overclocking.net, and request a trip to the hospital for radiated food poisoning in less then a hour!!!

FTW!!!

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001001011

||LAW||Doom

1. Take all heatsinks off your components.
2. Place frozen turkey inside case.
3. Proceed to play your favorite FPS Game.
4. Remove and Enjoy Your Cooked Turkey.

***Cooking time varies depending on the following: Dual Core or Quad Core CPU, Single or Dual Video Cards, and HOW FRIGGIN FAST YOUR CRUCIAL BALLISTIX ARE RUNNIN.

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Wankerfx

Here it goes...

Step 1: Buy Turkey two weeks in advanced, and use a two-stage cascade to cool it down to -100ºC to keep it fresh and free of decay.


Step 2: Buy plenty of vegetables of your choice online using your computer, and have them directly shipped from the farm. (Make it so the veggies arrive on time for your meal).


Step 3: Purchase a DFI "Dark" motherboard online, along with 2GB of PC2-8500 Crucial Ballistix ram and a Q6600 (Must be B3).


Step 4: On the 22 of November, put together the computer that was bought online. Utilize the TDP of the B3 quad core to your advantage (105W). Assemble the computer without the heatsink on the CPU and place a custom made copper LN2 pot on top of it; preferably a KingPin pot. (The copper allows excellent heat transfer).


Step 4 : Take the turkey out of its freezing stage, and let it thaw in warm water for a few hours. Then, you must remove all the bones and leave only the raw meat of the turkey.



Step 5: Why did I pick the DFI "Dark" board? It's because it has insane voltage controls - perfect for the ram and CPU. Grind up the turkey meat with a blender, saw, or anything!


Step 6: Place the ground up turkey bits into the LN2 pot, and place the vegetables on a flat metal surface, on top of the Ballistix ram.


Step 7 Boot up and set your CPU voltage to 1.9V, and ram voltage to 3.0V and slow cook the turkey and veggies. (Be sure to take the heatspreaders off the ram before doing so, to allow maximum heat output).

Step 8: Turn machine off after cooking ~two hours. (Time will vary according to the mass of the turkey). Remove the turkey and vegetables, and throw out the Q6600 and the Ballistix - they are most likely dead/dying, and you already voided the warranty.


Step 9: Your food is ready, feel free to eat it and share it with your friends and relatives.

Step 10: Have a happy thanksgiving!

Safety precautions: : Putting your quad core at 1.9V and ram at 3.0V makes the parts run really hot while your cooking your turkey and veggies, meaning that you have a potential fire hazard. A small fire can spread really fast and you're in great danger is it meets up with your water pipes (In newer homes). There was a great scare for using copper piping a few years ago, so people have made the switch over to PVC. Yes, it's reliable, yes, it's strong, but it emits Chlorine gas when burned. Breathing in Chlorine is bad, it's more dense that air, so it will displace all the air out of your lungs and it will react with the Hydrogen atoms floating around, forming HCL. HCL is hydrochloric acid - it's dangerous and will burn your lungs. That is the main reason why you don't want a fire - your food will also be wrecked =(


*Perform in a well-ventilated area where there aren't any fire hazards, also, following this recipe will void your warranty on the CPU and ram*

Thanks Sam @ Crucial for having this contest!

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Ravin

I think you're confusing PolyChlorinated Biphenyls with Printed Circut Board. You won't find PCBs in a PCB, maybe the closest thing would be pthalates(plastic additive).

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Demonkiller

Well .
1) Go to a farm in the night, steal a turkey or two.
2) Remove the cooler of my 7300GS,run 3d Marks 06,keep the turkey's head near its core and boil its brains out.
3) Use a turbine fan to cut out the parts which u dont want.
4) Run a C2D @ 4 Ghz without the HSF.
5) After the CPU explodes into flames, burn the feathers and clean the turkey.
6) Keep a pan on the burning C2D, apply the gravy for the turkey, stuff it and cook.
7) Now, put on a prescott, and burn this one too.
8) Repeat until fully cooked.
9) After cooking, add the decorations.
10) Use the HDD to reheat.
11) Enjoy ur fresh turkey roast.

Wankerfx

Damn, you're right... Either way, plastic is bad, and I'll have to edit it later.

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brown bird

Well, for the past 3 years I have worked on Thanksgiving Day. I usually go online and order a pizza from the local pizza joint and have them add some turkey to the list of toppings.
I used my computer.
Recipe:
Dough, Tomato Sauce, Cheese, Green Peppers, Onions, Black Olives and Turkey.
Place in oven on 450 for 15 minutes and then deliver.

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