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Favourite Portal Quotes (Spoilers)

6K views 22 replies 14 participants last post by  tofumonster 
#1 ·
I think this is the right section of the forum to place this topic, my apologies if it's wrong. (I'm new here). Also, I haven't seen any other spoiler alerts in this forum, so just to make sure everyone gets it, it means that you should not read this unless you are okay with being told key parts of Portals story. I would hate for someone to have the game ruined for them.


Anyways, Portal quite possibly had the best writing of any game I've ever played. There is so much stuff in there that is ridiculously funny.


I will start with my hands down favourite quote.

Quote:
"There was even going to be a party for you. A big party, that all of your
friends were invited to. I invited your best friend, 'the Companion Cube'. Of
course, he couldn't come, because you murdered him. All your other friends
couldn't come either, because you don't have any other friends because of how unlikable you are. It says so right here in your personnel file; 'Unlikable.
Liked by no one. A bitter unlikable loner whose passing shall not be mourned.'
SHALL NOT BE MOURNED. That's exactly what it says. Very formal. Very official. It also says you were adopted. So that's funny too."
 
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#2 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Portal
"The Enrichment Center reminds you that the weighted companion cube will never threaten to stab you and, in fact, cannot speak."

"In the event that the weighted companion cube does speak, the Enrichment Center urges you to disregard it's advice."
I named mine Cubby Cube and I mish 'em sooozz much
 
#4 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by KeilanS View Post
Haha, I know! The poor companion cube.

And I definatly laughed out loud when GLaDOS told me he wouldn't threaten to stab me.
That's BS man, he took like 8 stabs at meh. He still was awesome, and will be forever missed.
 
#6 ·
Quote:
This was a triumph!
I'm making a note here:
"HUGE SUCCESS!!"

It's hard to overstate
my satisfaction.

Aperture Science:
We do what we must
because we can.

For the good of all of us.
Except the ones who are dead.

But there's no sense crying
over every mistake.
You just keep on trying
till you run out of cake.
And the science gets done.
And you make a neat gun
for the people who are
still alive.

I'm not even angry...
I'm being so sincere right now-
Even though you broke my heart,
and killed me.

And tore me to pieces.
And threw every piece into a fire.
As they burned it hurt because
I was so happy for you!

Now, these points of data
make a beautiful line.
And we're out of beta.
We're releasing on time!
So I'm GLaD I got burned-
Think of all the things we learned-
for the people who are
still alive.

Go ahead and leave me...
I think I'd prefer to stay inside...
Maybe you'll find someone else
to help you?
Maybe Black Mesa?
That was a joke! HAHA!! FAT CHANCE!!

Anyway this cake is great!
It's so delicious and moist!

Look at me: still talking
when there's science to do!
When I look out there,
it makes me GLaD I'm not you.

I've experiments to run.
There is research to be done.
On the people who are
still alive.
And believe me I am
still alive.
I'm doing science and I'm
still alive.
I feel fantastic and I'm
still alive.
While you're dying I'll be
still alive.
And when you're dead I will be
still alive.

Still alive.

Still alive.
Now...I know I put the song...but tough, I quoted it, and you KNOW it is the best...I win.

Do I get a cookie?
 
#9 ·
Favorite GLaDOS line(s):

Quote:
I'd just like to point out that you were given every opportunity to succeed. There was even going to be a party for you. A big party that all your friends were invited to. I invited your best friend the Companion Cube. Of course, he couldn't come because you murdered him. All your other friends couldn't come either because you don't have any other friends. Because of how unlikable you are. It says so here in your personnel file: Unlikable. Liked by no one. A bitter, unlikable loner whose passing shall not be mourned. 'Shall not be mourned.' That's exactly what it says. Very formal. Very official. It also says you were adopted, so that's funny, too.
LOL
Genius!
 
#10 ·
I don't exactly remember the quote but that machine started talking trash on me... it started talking to me as if i was a teenage girl or something. i definitely facepalmed, then realized i got the game from a girl because she recommended it to me. i then proceeded to facepalm again.



thats like the 4th time i used the facepalm graphic today.
 
#12 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by hiiyah777 View Post
^^Wow, I don't even remember that quote, but it is my new quote of the week. I'm still laughing out loud!
that was in the final round, in GLADOS's chamber.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Choggs396 View Post
Favorite GLaDOS line(s):

LOL
Genius!
hehe.. dark humor turns me on


another good one:

Quote:

Originally Posted by GLaDOS
Weeee are pleased that you made it through the final challenge where we pretended we were going to murder you. We are very, very happy for your success. We are throwing a party in honor of your tremendous success. Please place the device on the ground, then lie on your stomach with your arms at your sides. A party associate will arrive shortly to collect you for your party.
 
#13 ·
Another favorite of mine:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Portal
Didn't we have some fun though? Remember when the platform was sliding into the fire pit and I was like, "Goodbye" and you were like (slow mo voice) "NO WAAY" and I was all like "we pretended we were going to murder you" That was great...
 
#16 ·
Had to look it up, but the repetition makes this one gold.

Quote:


Good news. I figured out what that thing you just incinerated did. It was a morality core they installed after I flooded the Enrichment Center with a deadly neurotoxin to make me stop flooding the Enrichment Center with a deadly neurotoxin. So get comfortable while I warm up the neurotoxin emitters..

 
#19 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by killa_concept View Post
Another favorite of mine:

Quote:

Originally Posted by GLaDOS
Didn't we have some fun though? Remember when the platform was sliding into the fire pit and I was like, "Goodbye" and you were like (slow mo voice) "NO WAAY" and I was all like "we pretended we were going to murder you" That was great...

LOL. That was the best! It's so funny when she mocks you and all, haha. XD
 
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