Yea, I would have to agree I think you have reached your last resort: a clean install of windows. Sorry broham. Good luck.
EDIT: also about the windows 7 updates, there is one that is specifically known to cause issues. I will come back with the exact update number. It says please download this update to enable future updates. Its really an antipiracy update that can cause serious problems.
Will that update even affect legit installs? If so I would like that number. Thanks.
Oh and I gave everyone rep who posted help in this thread. Thanks guys!