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post #31 of 149
A guy goes to his doctor and the doctor says i hate to be the one to tell you but you have cancer, the man says doc i think i want a second opinion and the doc says ok i think your a fat bastard too!
    
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post #32 of 149
So Brian Mulroney's out and about back in 1988, and on his itinerary is a small Native reserve town in Saskatchewan.

"We'll make sure you get new houses!" he proclaims.

"Ungua!" replies the crowd.

"And better roads!" he bellows.

"Ungua!" the crowd roars.

"Yes, we'll make sure you're better treated under my government than under Trudeau's," he solemnly announces.

"Ungua! Ungua!"

As Mulroney steps off the stage, he meets the band chief and they go off to tour a ranch. A bull, spotting them, comes by and drops a most fragrant gift for the Prime Minister. The band chief says, "Be careful you don't step in the ungua, Mr. Prime Minister."

====

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post #33 of 149
PC>Xbox
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post #34 of 149
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning


In!
post #35 of 149
Two penguins are in a tub. One says, "pass the soap", and the other says "NO SOAP RADIO!"
     
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post #36 of 149
The teacher asked Timmy, "Why is your cat at school today?". Timmy *crying* as he mumbled out a reply, "Because I heard my Daddy say to Mommy I'm gonna eat that ***** when the kids leave."

In
post #37 of 149
What do to tell a woman with 2 black eyes?


Nothing. She was already told twice.
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post #38 of 149
I modified another older joke. I'm in for the RAM.

A bit long so I enclosed it.

How many OCN forum members does it take to change from an AMD graphics card to an NVIDIA graphics card? (or vise versa)

1 to post a new thread about he upgraded his graphics card, and how NVIDIA is so superior to AMD

14 to share similar experiences of changing over to an NVIDIA graphics card, and how they should have stuck with AMD

7 to caution about the dangers of changing graphics cards without properly removing the old drivers

27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing graphics card brands

53 to flame the spell checkers

41 to correct spelling/grammar flames

6 to argue over whether it's "graphics card" or "video card" ...

2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "graphics processing unit"

15 know-it-alls who claim *they* were in the industry, and that "graphics card" is perfectly correct

109 to post that this topic is not about the correct term for graphics cards and to please take this discussion to an English forum

203 to demand that cross posting to the computer hardware forum, off-topic forum, and graphics card groups about changing graphics card brands be stopped

111 to defend the posting to this thread saying that we all use graphics cards and therefore the posts *are* relevant to this topic

306 to debate which graphics card is superior, where to buy the best graphics card, what brand of graphics card works best for what benchmarks, and what brands are faulty (XFX discussions ... )

27 to post URL's where one can see examples of different graphics cards

14 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's

3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this topic which makes graphics cards in general relevant to this group

33 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too"

12 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the AMD vs NVIDIA controversy

19 to quote the "Me too's" to say "Me three"

4 to suggest that posters request the graphics card FAQ

44 to ask what is a "FAQ"

4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"

143 to say "do a Google search on best graphics cards before posting questions about which is best"

12 to randomly bring up how Apple is overpriced, and for sheeple

5 to ask "But can it run Crysis???!11 LOLZ"

2 to say "That was funny 3 years ago..."

1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again....

AND

1 mod to finally kill the thread with fire, and to issue multiple infractions.


Edited by AtomicFrost - 8/17/11 at 10:20pm
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post #39 of 149


What is it when a man talks dirty to a woman?
Sexual harassment

What is it when a woman talks dirty to a man?
$1.99/minute

In!
Edited by Scrappy - 8/18/11 at 6:03pm
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post #40 of 149
A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.

His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.”

The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.”


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