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Freebie ~ CoD4 Modern Warfare ~ CLOSED - Page 7

post #61 of 111
Thanks for the giveaway, mate!


A young man and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town. They were about to have sex when the girl stopped.

"I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I'm actually a hooker and I charge $20 for sex." The man reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing.

After a cigarette, the man just sat in the driver's seat looking out the window. "Why aren't we going anywhere?" asked the girl.

"Well, I should have mentioned this before, but I'm actually a taxi driver, and the fare back to town is $25..."


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post #62 of 111
A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head.

The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”

The operator, in a calm, soothing voice, says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”

There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy’s voice comes back on the line. He says: “Okay, now what?
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post #63 of 111
What time does Sean Connery arrive at Wimbledon?




Tennish.
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post #64 of 111
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants.
Bartender: "What's up with the steering wheel?"
Pirate: "Arrr! It's drivin' me nuts!"
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A pleasant surprise :)
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A pleasant surprise :)
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post #65 of 111
Two bytes meet. The first byte asks, “Are you ill?”
The second byte replies, “No, just feeling a bit off.”
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post #66 of 111
Kay, here's my joke:

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep.

Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: "Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see."

Watson replied: "I see millions and millions of stars."

Holmes said: "And what do you deduce from that?"

Watson replied: "Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like Earth out there. And if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life."

And Holmes said: "Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent."
post #67 of 111
Quote:
Originally Posted by KidPunk View Post

Kay, here's my joke:
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep.
Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: "Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see."
Watson replied: "I see millions and millions of stars."
Holmes said: "And what do you deduce from that?"
Watson replied: "Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like Earth out there. And if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life."
And Holmes said: "Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent."

No way! From Holmes! wink.gif
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post #68 of 111
What's worse than 10 babies nailed to a tree?


1 baby nailed to 10 trees
post #69 of 111
Quote:
Originally Posted by R4Z0R View Post

i used to tell chemistry jokes. Until i took an arrow to the Ne.

I wanted to write a chemistry joke here, but I realized all the good ones argon.
Edited by SprayN'Pray - 12/14/11 at 12:14am
    
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post #70 of 111
As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."

She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"

A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".
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