I was happily married with two kids and a beautiful wife. Then Louis CK gave me the best fellatio imaginable. It was so good that I knew I could no longer remain straight so I abandoned my family (done via txt message), and went to live with Louie in the mountain, continuing to receive inexplicable amounts of satisfaction.
Things were going great, and Louie even became more spiritual and even abandoned his cynical outlook. This made the fellatio even more enthusiastic thus made me even more happy, however I got to spend less and less time with him as he began spending weekends with his church group. Finally, he said he will go on a church retreat for a few weeks to explore his soul. I was lonely and didn't want him to go, but I still said I would support his decision. Then followed the most loneliest 3 weeks of my life.
Finally he returned, and I was overjoyed. But that feeling did not last. I could tell something was wrong by his distant body language and since he was not unpacking his luggage. The despair was overwhelming, and I overcame my cowardice and finally asked what was wrong.
I finally faced the truth. He did not go on a spiritual retreat but rather to "one of those Christian turn-yourself-straight things". My jaw dropped in disbelief, and I had to fight my tears, but without a moment's pause he called me a "homo" and left. Leaving me alone and completely mentally and sexually confused.
So I want to take my mind off of things by drifting...