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post #11 of 48
What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic???

About half way.


Put me down for oil rush smile.gif. Thanks op
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Hades
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post #12 of 48
A man walks down the street with a lot of old cans tied to a string.
Annoyed by the noise, a police officer goes up to him and asks: "What are you doing?"
The man replies: "I am scaring lions away!"
The police officer says: "You do know that there are no lions in this country, right?"
The man replies: "Of course there aren't, I am scaring them away!"

Any of the games would be cool.
post #13 of 48
Would love oil rush. Had to "clean" this joke a bit so its lost some humour.



A vicars wife wants to buy a new pet, however being the saintly type she decides to do the good thing and rehome an animal. She enters her local pets-r-us-rehoming centre place and see's a beautiful parrot.

The centre manager knowing her from church meetings approaches and says "you may not want this parrot he had a errr interesting previous owner"

She replies "All god's creatures deserve a chance"

The manager says "look ok the last owner ran a brothel and the bird has picked up some colourful language"

After a back n for with the manager she leaves with the parrot insisting she can correct it's poor etiquette. Upon returning home she places the bird and cage on the coffee table and sits to watch him. After a while her 17 year old daughter walks in wearing a wet t-shirt from washing the pope-mobile.

The parrot chimes out "Hey Hey sugar shake them assets"

The vicars wife immediately throws a blanket over its cage and says "thou shalt not speak like that".

Later her friend comes for scones and tea the parrot chimes in "hell darling you are past it out the backdoor for you to work the alleyway"

The blanket treatment ensues.

Finally the vicar returns home walks in to the room and freezes in horror looking at the parrot.

The parrot looks straight back and whistles loudly before saying "Alright Dave thought you only visited on Sunday night"
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post #14 of 48

A female secretary was helping her new boss set up his computer and asked him what word he would like to use as a password to log in with.

Wanting to embarrass his new secretary a bit and let her know where they stood, he smugly told her to enter ‘penis.’

Without blinking or saying a word, she entered the password. She then almost died laughing at the computer’s response:

PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH! thumb.gif

In for any of the games as they are all awesome :D

post #15 of 48
Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says "I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here."

I would like Serious Sam: The Random Encounter please smile.gif
post #16 of 48
Awesomenauts please !

The reason old men use Viagra is not that they are impotent. It's that old women are so very, very ugly.
post #17 of 48
Ok, so there are two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other muffin "Gee, its hot in here, isn't it?"

The other muffin thought "Oh my god it's a talking muffin!"

If you didn't think that one was funny enough, here is another:

So there are two hippos in a swamp with mud up to their ears, and one hippo says to the other:
"I keep thinking it's Tuesday"

I'd love anything! Thanks.
Edited by Tagkaman - 6/10/13 at 2:42pm
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post #18 of 48
A priest, a rabbi and a nun walk into a bar. The barkeep looks up and says, "what the hell is this, some sort of bad joke?"
any game would be great smile.gif
 
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Beautiful HoRyzen
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post #19 of 48
This is a completely hypothetical situation that must be answered according to your morals:

Pretend that you’re a photographer who has gone out to the Midwest to take pictures of an ongoing flood. Now as you’re wandering around looking for a good shot, you see George W. Bush in the middle of a rushing river, holding onto a thin branch so he won’t get swept away. The branch is about halfway broken, and you know it will break altogether in a matter of minutes. Now you can do one of two things: You can either rescue him or take an award-winning picture that will secure your place in photographic history.

Now for the question:

Which lens would you use?
In for Awesomenauts please!
Edited by Skorpian - 6/8/13 at 6:00pm
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Not bad
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post #20 of 48
"A mollusk walks over to a sea cucumber and says 'With fronds like these, who needs anemones?'"

In for Serious Sam First Encounter HD.
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