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Need help reviewing a Computer Business flyer

post #1 of 5
Thread Starter 
Good afternoon OCN,

After learning the tricks of the trade and being in the scene for quite some time, I am finally going to try and launch my own small business for assembling, repairing and upgrading computers. Please note that I have done more than enough research into this and understand it's a "hard business to make a profit" but honestly believe I be successful with the right service, customer care, guarantee and quality of craftsmanship (so please don't give me your 2 cents about how you know it's not worth the time and whatnot). I am asking anyone and everyone to "Constructively Critique" and give helpful suggestions to this computer flyer that I am trying to finish. My market is geared towards gamers (I love assembling sweet rigs that have the latest components and such) but that does not mean they are my only target, EVERYONE IS. My creative juices are starting to drain and I've been breaking my head trying to finish this thing. Please note IT IS FAR FROM FINISHED and I am simply trying to get good suggestions to add to the flyer. I want it to be simple, yet effective as the last flyer I had looked like a page out of the bible lol. So without further a due, here it is!

photo NextLevelFlyer_zpsda3dae22.jpg

Here are a couple of thing's I was thinking about adding:
1. About Me (let them know I am currently in school Junior year of college Majoring in I.T., studying to get my A+ cert too.)
2. Should I include pricing? (I really don't have any marketing experience and have heard its a negative while others say it's a positive, confused:blushsmil)
3. Prices vs Best Buy, Geek Squad, Tiger Direct, etc.?
4. A Facebook Like logo and URL to my FB page (Business Page which is also in the midst of completion).

Sorry if I am posting this in the wrong thread in advance!

Best,

Elvin Blen
AMD Gaming
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AMD Gaming
(12 items)
 
Maxxed -SOLD-
(16 items)
 
Sheldon -SOLD-
(13 items)
 
CPUMotherboardGraphicsRAM
AMD PhenomII x4 965 BE Asus M5A78L-M LX Plus MSI Twin Frozr III Radeon ATI HD7950 G.Skill Ripjaws X 2133MHz CL9-11-10-28 1.65v (4... 
Hard DriveOptical DriveCoolingOS
Seagate Barracuda 2TB 64Mb Cache 7200RPM ASUS  Cooler Master Hyper 212 Plus (modded) Windows 7 Ultimate 64-Bit 
MonitorKeyboardPowerCase
Acer G235H LCD monitor (x2) Rosewill Gaming Keyboard RK-8100 Corsair CX500 80Plus Bronze Cooler Master Storm Scout 2 Advanced 
MouseMouse PadAudioOther
A4tech X7 N/A Logtiech X-540 NZXT Sentry 2 Fan Controller 
CPUMotherboardGraphicsRAM
FX-8120 GA-990FXA-UD3 Sapphire Radeon HD6770 Corsair Vengeance 1600MHz  
Hard DriveCoolingOSMonitor
Seagate 1tb HDD 7200rpm Corsair H100 Windows 7 Ultimate Acer G235h 23.5 (Dual Monitor) 
KeyboardPowerCaseMouse
Logitech G110 Rosewill RG630-S12 Thermaltake Chaser Mk-1 Logitech G5 
Audio
Logitech 5.1 set 
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post #2 of 5
I'll give you some advice and some things to think about.

1. What does FIU have to do with your company?
2. What does MLG have to do with your company?
3. I don't like the picture of the "Cluttered looking computer" with pictures hanging on the wall in the background.
4. The "My Guarantee" section is poorly written...needs to be redone, completely...sorry.
5. Under the computer upgrade section. There is an extra check mark, and you want to mention windows 8, not windows 7. By mentioning windows 7, you sound outdated. Push the "new big thing, all the time" You might not like it, but you have to be at the cutting edge.
6. The "Create a custom computer to tailor your needs" line doesn't make any sense. Also, use the same font for all the words in a point. Looks bad if you don't...to me.
7. Don't use the word "Rig" and "Computer" Use one and stick to it. (Computer is what you want)
8. NEVER put a top end price on something. It is okay to say $50 and up. If I wanted to build a $3000 computer, I would think that you can't handle it.
9. Don't use the "About Me" thing..just simply say that "I offer lower prices and better customer service then Best Buy...etc. About me just reads weird.
10. You should do a 90 day warranty. 60 seems to short.


What you are doing right is by mentioning Virus Removal, Spyware removal, Anything wrong with your computer I can fix, DATA RECOVERY!!! even if you can't recover it, it is a good way to get in the door, although you should learn how to if you don't know....People that are going to pay you to do this are going to have, in their mind, virus problems. Maybe you go into someones house and then you sell them on getting an updated system instead of fixing the 7 year old system.

I know you want to get into custom builds, and there is a market for that, but don't forget about other services like setting up a SECURE wifi system in their house...use marketing words like "Secure" etc.. It really isn't any more then buying a good router and going from there...but they don't know that...and that is why they call you.

Don't be specific with upgrades...just mention that you can make their computer FASTER. Alot of people don't know about cpu's and gpu's..don't talk over their head.

I hope I wasn't to hard on you, but just see alot of room for improvement before someone gives you their computer and money......

KEEP TRYING AND DON'T GIVE UP!!!!!!!
MY FIRST BUILD
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i5 3570K ASRock z77 Extreme 4 EVGA GTX 670 4GB Zotac GTX 670 4GB 
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MY FIRST BUILD
(18 items)
 
  
CPUMotherboardGraphicsGraphics
i5 3570K ASRock z77 Extreme 4 EVGA GTX 670 4GB Zotac GTX 670 4GB 
RAMHard DriveHard DriveHard Drive
G. Skill Sniper Series 1866 8gb Western Digital Caviar Black Crucial M4 Samsung 840 250gb SSD 
Optical DriveCoolingOSMonitor
Samsung DVD Cooler Master Hyper 212 Evo Windows 7 X-Star DP2710 @ 110hz 
KeyboardPowerCaseMouse
Corsair K70 Cherry MX Red  XFX Pro 750 XXX Semi-Modular 80 Plus Silver Cooler Master HAF 922 RAZER DEATHADDER 2013 
Mouse PadAudio
Oversized Gaming Pad Asus Xonar DG 
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post #3 of 5
MLG - Isn't that a trademark? (as in you cant just use it freely)

Broken up words - like amazon on 2 lines. Looks crap don't have broken words

The computer with a face - looks like clipart from 1994

Your prices are vague either don't include them or set an hourly rate.

Why is there an empty tick under computer upgrading heading?
Quote:
1. About Me (let them know I am currently in school Junior year of college Majoring in I.T., studying to get my A+ cert too.)

No if you do they will not hire you as you have no experience and are just out of nappies (not saying that applies but that's what a potential client will think)
Quote:
2. Should I include pricing? (I really don't have any marketing experience and have heard its a negative while others say it's a positive, confused:blushsmil)

Not the way you have that's a great example of negative way to do it, it will confuse joe shmoe and he will then think shyster. Remember the people who will hire you are the people to dumb/lazy to realise its easy and cheaper to do themselves so if you show pricing dumb it right down.
Quote:
3. Prices vs Best Buy, Geek Squad, Tiger Direct, etc.?

No
Quote:
4. A Facebook Like logo and URL to my FB page (Business Page which is also in the midst of completion).

Possibly though if you are serious get a proper webpage it costs next to knack all and screams clueless shyster less than Facebook.

Good luck to you I do similar stuff and trust me it's not easy to get off the ground but if you can make a good name for yourself and come away impressing people the work does come. Just don't fixate on building dream rigs get used to removing viruses because some idiot downloaded 44 copies of "Tijuana donkey shagathon 99 now with extra malware".... this is good easy cash. Builds mostly consist of housewives Facebook browsers built on pitiful budgets.
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Intel
(14 items)
 
AMD
(16 items)
 
 
CPUMotherboardGraphicsRAM
i5 3570k Gbyte Z77X-UD3H MSI GTX670 16GB (4X4) Corsair Vengance 1600MHz Low Profile 
Hard DriveHard DriveHard DriveOptical Drive
1Tb Seagate Barracuda 7200RPM 1Tb Seagate Barracuda 7200RPM 120GB OCZ Agility 3 SSD Cheapo DVDRW 
CoolingOSKeyboardPower
CM Hyper 212 EVO Push/Pull Win7 Pro Sidewinder X4 OCZ ZS 650W 
CaseMouse
CM HAF X RAT 5 
CPUMotherboardGraphicsGraphics
Phenom II 1600T GA990XA-UD3 Palit 550ti Palit 550ti (sli) 
RAMHard DriveHard DriveHard Drive
16GB (4X4) Gskill OCZ Agility 3 120GB Seagate Barracuda 500GB WD Black 500GB 
Optical DriveCoolingOSOS
Cheapo DVDRW AC Freezer 7 Pro Win 7 Pro Server 2008 
OSOSPowerCase
Ubuntu Win 8 OCZ ZS 650w Self modded cheapo thing 
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post #4 of 5
Thread Starter 
By all means no offense taken and quite honestly on the contrary, thank you for being "hard on it" (please children don't be immature). This flyer is it's first draft, I needed this and actually all the text in the "About me" section was from somewhere else that I quickly copy and pasted onto there just to act as a filler. I love all the feedback and will use most if not all of it in the development of it's next stage! I think adding a ceiling to my pricing is a bad idea now that you say it like that, makes a lot of sense and funnily I just built a customer a $2130 machine! lol. In regards to the guarantee I think you're right, 90-day is a somewhat standard and being below that shouldn't be tolerated, good point out. I still have to figure out exactly how I will guarantee my products and services, gonna grab a hot mug for that one. And in regards to the computer, that's one of the custom guys I built, I'm not quite sure how to go about taking a "Professional" shot of one or more of the computers (help?). Oh, and FIU is the school I'm attending at, it's like saying, yeah, I'm going (or went) to our local University FIU (better than have no qualifications right?) and the MLG logo was just to show people that I like building custom gaming computers, it's my niche I suppose (I love buying quality/budget parts that I can OC and fine tune to get a $1000 performing machine for let's say, $650?, and I'm a big gamer so I have an eye for good looking cases, the lights, cable management, all that good stuff=)). Once again, I appreciate the feedback!

Best,

Elvin Blen
AMD Gaming
(12 items)
 
Maxxed -SOLD-
(16 items)
 
Sheldon -SOLD-
(13 items)
 
CPUMotherboardGraphicsRAM
AMD PhenomII x4 965 BE Asus M5A78L-M LX Plus MSI Twin Frozr III Radeon ATI HD7950 G.Skill Ripjaws X 2133MHz CL9-11-10-28 1.65v (4... 
Hard DriveOptical DriveCoolingOS
Seagate Barracuda 2TB 64Mb Cache 7200RPM ASUS  Cooler Master Hyper 212 Plus (modded) Windows 7 Ultimate 64-Bit 
MonitorKeyboardPowerCase
Acer G235H LCD monitor (x2) Rosewill Gaming Keyboard RK-8100 Corsair CX500 80Plus Bronze Cooler Master Storm Scout 2 Advanced 
MouseMouse PadAudioOther
A4tech X7 N/A Logtiech X-540 NZXT Sentry 2 Fan Controller 
CPUMotherboardGraphicsRAM
FX-8120 GA-990FXA-UD3 Sapphire Radeon HD6770 Corsair Vengeance 1600MHz  
Hard DriveCoolingOSMonitor
Seagate 1tb HDD 7200rpm Corsair H100 Windows 7 Ultimate Acer G235h 23.5 (Dual Monitor) 
KeyboardPowerCaseMouse
Logitech G110 Rosewill RG630-S12 Thermaltake Chaser Mk-1 Logitech G5 
Audio
Logitech 5.1 set 
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AMD Gaming
(12 items)
 
Maxxed -SOLD-
(16 items)
 
Sheldon -SOLD-
(13 items)
 
CPUMotherboardGraphicsRAM
AMD PhenomII x4 965 BE Asus M5A78L-M LX Plus MSI Twin Frozr III Radeon ATI HD7950 G.Skill Ripjaws X 2133MHz CL9-11-10-28 1.65v (4... 
Hard DriveOptical DriveCoolingOS
Seagate Barracuda 2TB 64Mb Cache 7200RPM ASUS  Cooler Master Hyper 212 Plus (modded) Windows 7 Ultimate 64-Bit 
MonitorKeyboardPowerCase
Acer G235H LCD monitor (x2) Rosewill Gaming Keyboard RK-8100 Corsair CX500 80Plus Bronze Cooler Master Storm Scout 2 Advanced 
MouseMouse PadAudioOther
A4tech X7 N/A Logtiech X-540 NZXT Sentry 2 Fan Controller 
CPUMotherboardGraphicsRAM
FX-8120 GA-990FXA-UD3 Sapphire Radeon HD6770 Corsair Vengeance 1600MHz  
Hard DriveCoolingOSMonitor
Seagate 1tb HDD 7200rpm Corsair H100 Windows 7 Ultimate Acer G235h 23.5 (Dual Monitor) 
KeyboardPowerCaseMouse
Logitech G110 Rosewill RG630-S12 Thermaltake Chaser Mk-1 Logitech G5 
Audio
Logitech 5.1 set 
  hide details  
Reply
post #5 of 5
Competitive pricing instead of "Lower prices".

People will pay more for a quality job, so don't undersell yourself. You can always decline a job if you can't do it or don't believe you can offer timely or quality service.

Definitely remove the trademarked content from the flyer unless you get permission to use it. It may not be a problem, but there just isn't any reason to take the risk.

Otherwise i think what was mentioned above is a pretty good starting point to make it a little more professional smile.gif
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