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Frickfrock's Guide to Hot Chicks In Games.

post #1 of 12
Thread Starter 
It’s no secret that I’m the king of virtual women.

The notches in my belt are countless, the satisfied smiles are many, and my game spitting prowess is impregnable.

But how do I do it? How do I get every pixelated hottie I set my sights on while 99% of the population can barely tie their own shoes? headscratch.gif

hvXng50.jpg
Come on baby, you already know the answer.


It’s time to open the vault.

Be warned, nephews. The knowledge below will change your life permanently. Forever throwing you into a world of non stop partying and broken high heels.
Approach with caution.

LESSON 1: Tell Them You Know How To Read.

I've yet to meet a single virtual honey that didn't love a man with a fat vocabulary.
A common tactic with schoolgirls and smoking fine teachers, learning how to read will demonstrate your advanced intelligence. They'll see that your brain is far above the common trash they see every day and that you're different from the pack.

V6BiTZe.jpg
Not a problem. I'm a professor of love.


I frequently impress women with my impromptu recitations of Harry Potter passages and Garfield punchlines on the daily. However, you won't be able to just jump on my level. It's going to take a few years of practice.

For a beginner, I suggest reading Chaucer's early works. "The Book of Duchess", "The Canterbury Tales", and "A Treatise on the Astrolabe" to name a few.

Within a few weeks, you'll be dropping knowledge bombs like raindrops.

LESSON 2: Get A Job.

In meatspace, there's nothing worse than a mooch who sucks you dry.

You don't want to be the sad little man whose girl pulls him by the collar and tells where to go.

No, no. You'll never get any 16 bit stunners like that.

x9DBfTl.jpg
It also comes in handy for that whole money thing they like so much.


Instead, get a high powered job for a space mining company or mercenary insurgency group. Your massive bullet spewing weapons of death will show her that you mean business and refuse to settle for anything but the tastiest of honey gumdrops. Plus, the insurance and 401k benefits will let other women in the game know of your responsible fiscal planning. A STAT THAT MUST BE PADDED TO INFINITY.

In my lifetime, I've been a doctor, a master of kung-fu karate arts, and professional door knob jiggler to name a few. All of which have garnered positive results when combined with the final step.

LESSON 3: Play Hard To Get

The only thing virtual babes love more than me is fighting over me.
A process wrought with turmoil and black holes.

A common misconception is once you leave a game, everything stops. The lives of the characters come to a halt, your decisions cease to have any effect, and you essentially become a ghost.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

In the virtual world, these women will talk to each other non-stop. Why not give them something to talk about?

JdmEbuo.jpg
I'm what you need all the time. Get it straight.


By planting the seeds of slight flirtation using ONLY ambiguous responses, your virtual targets will be driven to the brink of madness. In seconds, Miranda from Mass Effect will meet with Murakumo Sakura from We Love Master to talk about you.

And soon, nothing will stop them from beating the crap out of each other for your love. The infautation will turn to passion and the hearts and souls of every virtual girl will be yours.

The power you can wield is limitless. By using an advanced series of seduction techniques, I once got Chieri 'Cherry' Hase's AND Triss Merigold's number IN THE SAME DAY.

OH YES, YOU READ THAT RIGHT.


AwNqrt1.jpg
Many have fallen to my charms. How could they not?

Well, there it is. How to be the ultimate pixel pimp.

You may not be any good at it right now, but don't fret.

With enough practice, you'll be able to swing that mouse with confidence you've never felt before.

And maybe, just MAYBE, you might get as good as me. wink.gif

Peace.
Edited by frickfrock999 - 10/1/13 at 2:07pm
post #2 of 12
I want the females in path of exile to look hotter. =[
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post #3 of 12
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by sterik01 View Post

I want the females in path of exile to look hotter. =[

I'll have to study them a bit more.

Are there teachers in that game?
post #4 of 12
sounds like The World God Only Knows is an anime you'd watch.
 
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post #5 of 12

I don't even...

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post #6 of 12
Quote:
Originally Posted by derickwm View Post

I don't even...

It's FrickFrock, you're not SUPPOSED to even... lol
 
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post #7 of 12
Better not let your old mare know. wink.gif
post #8 of 12
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Phaedrus2129 View Post

Better not let your old mare know. wink.gif

I have needs and I won't apologize for them.
post #9 of 12
CWtkjv3.gif

Did someone say hot chicks?
     
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post #10 of 12
What games are these? Lol

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