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[DESTRUCTOID] Ten Golden Rules of action games

post #1 of 8
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http://www.destructoid.com/ten-golde...es-86609.phtml


Quote:
There really is nothing quite like a good old-fashioned action game. From God of War to Bujingai, they are the bread and butter of a lifelong gamer's diet. A third-person mixture of combat and exploration, it is a genre absolutely packed full of amazing titles and generic rubbish that keeps us coming back for the inevitable sequels.

In this, the latest edition of Ten Golden Rules, we crack open this noble, saturated form of game to bring you the code to which all action title developers stick. If you want to create an action adventure that will actually sell, you need to read these commandments.

Read on for the Ten Golden Rules of action games.
sarcasm ftw!
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post #2 of 8
On breasts in video games:
Quote:
Women need to be big-boobed and wearing attire completely inappropriate for the situation. Videogames may be considered by some to be an emerging art form that can be used for a variety of intellectual and emotional responses, but **** those guys. They are probably gay, and we're NOT gay because we play games with big tits
On RPG elements in non-RPG games:
Quote:
it's all about creating the illusion of depth while remaining shallower than a sparrow's ****.
BRILLIANT!!!! That was definitely a good read.
Edited by Filip_the_crusader - 5/25/08 at 12:07pm
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post #3 of 8
Sounds a bit like Yahtzee...
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post #4 of 8
#5 is hilarious
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post #5 of 8
These are really funny, and yeah, it does remind me of Yahtzee!
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post #6 of 8
the breasts bit was the funniest imo. a lot of what they're mocking is quite sadly true.
    
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post #7 of 8
HAHA!!

That was a damn good read. Painful truths in there.
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post #8 of 8
I lol'd

Quote:
8: Story must take itself too seriously:

Even though absolutely nobody cares except for the person who wrote it, the storyline of any action game needs to take itself way too seriously, despite the fact that it is usually set in a world where a man could use the terms "whoop-ass" and "booyah" without even a trace of irony. The game's script must be penned by someone without any sense of self-awareness; otherwise, they might be tempted to make light of the fact that the game is absolutely ludicrous and we can't have that -- 'roid-raging space marines fighting aliens and zombies is serious business!
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