Alright... here's the update.
I do not qualify for an Advance RMA. Each motherboard (identified by serial number) can only be issued an Advance RMA once. Whoever owned it before me used this. Because of this, I have been issued an Cross-ship RMA, which is very similar, but different on a very important level.
They have levels of stock on the motherboards. A select amount of BNIB boards are reserved for advance RMAs so they're always in stock. A number are sent to retailers and what is left goes into the Cross-ship Motherboard section. With an Advance RMA, you're guaranteed a new board. With Cross-ship, if they have one in stock, you'll get that. If they do not, however, you'll get a previously cleared previously RMA'd board. If they have none of those, you get to wait.
So be aware, Asus' full warranty does NOT extend completely over to OB items. If a board has been Advance RMA'd before and you buy it, you CANNOT use this again.
I'm a little pissed I didn't know that before, but I'll be getting my board as soon as they can send it. I'm going to be out of town until Monday and the rep said they will most likely send mine out today as it's shipping from California (still 3:30 there).