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[STEAM] King Arthur: The Roleplaying Wargame - Christmas Giveaway

post #1 of 16
Thread Starter 
I am giving away a copy of King Aruthur: The Roleplaying Wargame via STEAM.

Rules:

-Must have 10 rep or are Moderator, Admin, etc.
-Only one entry
-Post your best Christmas joke

I will decide a winner at midnight. If there is a tie I will use randomizer.

Good luck and Happy Holidays!

Edit:

To give more people opportunity to get this prize for Christmas I am extending this to tomorrow morning. Keep the jokes coming!

Edit:

Thanks to those who participated in this rather short contest. Props and I will most likely be doing another one of these in the near future. And congrats to madswimmer!

Merry Christmas!
Edited by RoddimusPrime - 12/25/10 at 5:01pm
post #2 of 16
What to Give an Optimist and Pessimist


A family had twin boys whose only resemblance to each other was their looks. If one felt it was too hot, the other thought it was too cold. If one said the TV was too loud, the other claimed the volume needed to be turned up. Opposite in every way, one was an eternal optimist, the other a doom & gloom pessimist.


Just to see what would happen, on the twins' birthday their father loaded the pessimist's room with every imaginable toy and game. The optimist's room he loaded with horse manure.


That night the father passed by the pessimist's room and found him sitting amid his new gifts crying bitterly.


"Why are you crying?" the father asked.


"Because my friends will be jealous, I'll have to read all these instructions before I can do anything with this stuff, I'll constantly need batteries, and my toys will eventually get broken." answered the pessimist twin.


Passing the optimist twin's room, the father found him dancing for joy in the pile of manure. "What are you so happy about?" he asked.


To which his optimist twin replied, "There's got to be a pony in here somewhere!"
    
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post #3 of 16
Office Holiday Memo

To: All Employees
From: Management
Subject: Office conduct during the Christmas season

Effective immediately, employees should keep in mind the following guidelines in compliance with FROLIC (the Federal Revelry Office and Leisure Industry Council).

1. Running aluminum foil through the paper shredder to make tinsel is discouraged.
2. Playing Jingle Bells on the push-button phone is forbidden (it runs up an incredible long distance bill)
3. Work requests are not to be filed under "Bah humbug."
4. Company cars are not to be used to go over the river and through the woods to Grandma's house.
5. All fruitcake is to be eaten BEFORE July 25.
6. Egg nog will NOT be dispensed in vending machines.

In spite of all this, the staff is encouraged to have a Happy Holiday.
post #4 of 16
What did Santa say to the 3 girls sitting in his lap?
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post #5 of 16
Santa Hates Your Kid

8. Kid's letter to north pole comes back stamped, "Dream on, Chester!"
7. Kid asks for new bike, gets pack of smokes.
6. Along with presents, Santa leaves hefty bill for shipping and handling.
5. By the time he gets to your house, all he has left is foam packing.
4. Christmas day, your kid wakes up with a Reindeer head in his bed.
3. Instead of "Naughty" or "Nice", Santa has him on the stupid list.
2. Labels on all your kid's toys read "Straight from Craptown."
1. Four words: "Off my lap, Tubby!"

P.s. That's my friend joke. I think it's funny.
post #6 of 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by beers View Post
What did Santa say to the 3 girls sitting in his lap?
where's the cup?
ಠ-ಠ
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post #7 of 16
It's really really corny, but those are the best, right?

A man walks into a cafe desiring breakfast. The waitress seats him and he asks what the specials are. She tells him the Christmas special is Eggs Benedict. He orders the special. A little later, the waitress comes out with the Eggs Benedict, served on hubcaps. Surprised, he asks why the hubcaps instead of regular plates. Her response? “There’s no plates like chrome for the Hollandaise.”
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post #8 of 16
Christmas is in my heart twelve months a year and thanks to credit cards, it's on my Visa card statement twelve months a year also.
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post #9 of 16
What's the difference between Santa and Tiger Woods?

Santa stops with three hoes.

(Yes, I know it's old, lol)
    
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