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Funding my Folding Farm - Page 2

post #11 of 21
Looks great man, you would have convinced me.
    
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post #12 of 21
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Klue22 View Post
Looks great man, you would have convinced me.
Did I convince you to expand your already impressive farm?

I've updated the post with draft 1. How does the transition into the proposition sound?
 
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post #13 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by stu. View Post
Did I convince you to expand your already impressive farm?
No convincing needed. Its a done deal once I get more moola.

Quote:
Originally Posted by stu. View Post
I've updated the post with draft 1. How does the transition into the proposition sound?
I like it. It's very well written. One can see that you care a lot about the subject and that you put a lot of effort into the writing.
    
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post #14 of 21
You should go into more depth about why you want to do this and how this will improve you mentally and emotionally. Whether the main focuses are because of the family loses or anything is for you to decide. There are many steps when it comes to dealing with death and folding can be a tool for you to get over some of the steps. I think you described the whole folding part very well.
post #15 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by Klue22 View Post
No convincing needed. Its a done deal once I get more moola.



I like it. It's very well written. One can see that you care a lot about the subject and that you put a lot of effort into the writing.
Good luck getting funding, it looks like you really do care about it. Have you considered the cost/benefit of renting cloud space from Amazon?

Klue, I hope I am not the only one who got the math joke in your signature
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post #16 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by cdolphin View Post
Klue, I hope I am not the only one who got the math joke in your signature
Sadly I can honestly say your the first person to ever comment on that. Thanks!
    
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post #17 of 21
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tennobanzai View Post
You should go into more depth about why you want to do this and how this will improve you mentally and emotionally. Whether the main focuses are because of the family loses or anything is for you to decide. There are many steps when it comes to dealing with death and folding can be a tool for you to get over some of the steps. I think you described the whole folding part very well.
Thanks for the suggestion! I was wondering if my passion was evident or not, so I will definitely work more into my writing.

Thanks for the support guys, I'll let everyone know when draft 2 is up!
 
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post #18 of 21
Thats a great write up that you have done Stu. There is a element which you have talked about in that re-draft but you never actually went into it in depth about. That is what stanford/F@H has already achieved, also what they are aiming for (diseases).

As a whole the "letter" you wrote is good but it dosen't seem to have the "eye catching" information that would make readers care or want to understand more about what Standford is trying to achieve.

Finally there also seems to be no ending or conclusion to the text, leaving the reader hanging in the last paragraph.

Just my 2cents.
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post #19 of 21
While the overall tone is good, your proposal could be strengthened by including something you would do in addition to the subsidies you are looking to receive. I'm definitely not doubting your good intentions here, I just think it is very easy to sound sincere without actually contributing anything.

My parents didn't believe that funding a higher end computer for me to fold was worthwhile. Being results oriented, they did not like the concept of, "we now have a slightly better understanding of how X behaves". They told me to work for it if I really believed in it, so I did. Show your determination by investing something yourself. Even if you don't inspire your immediate audience, friends might see your passion and donate old hardware to you as they upgrade. Every point counts!

Seeing as your current schedule is already hectic, maybe you could pledge to be more frugal and contribute x amount per month or per week to fund this project. Showing this type of dedication and commitment would definitely make a stronger case. In addition, it would be great to show them a plan of what you want to build and a rough estimate of costs to assemble as well as upkeep. You touch on this briefly by stating that you have spare hardware but don't have enough pieces to complete a system. Let them know what these missing pieces are, and show them that you have not only thought this through but have put in a lot of effort into it already. Even if they end up saying no, you've done the planning part already which you can and will use later on when more funds become available.

Good luck
post #20 of 21
Thread Starter 
I've updated my main post with my most recent edition. I realize that it's been almost one year since I originally wrote this up, but I needed to make sure this was the right thing to do and that I would continue to dedicate myself to the project.
 
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F@H
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