So... I just fixed my card. 385 for 10 minutes.
First of all, I'm retarded. I messed a lot up. Anyway.
If you're too lazy to watch the video, Inf3rnus and I just baked my 8800GT that was refurbished from the start. It started to have some massive artifacting. I'm getting a 460 anyway, so I decided to just say F it, and I baked the card. It's working perfectly now, and with minimal work required.
Here's how it is originally.