Best, and Funniest Article EVER!
Well, I told you I was the finest PC processor on the planet, and now I've backed it up through 16 pages and some ridiculous number of benchmarks. I don't want to put too fine a point on it, but I am probably the zenith of human technological achievement to date. Can't really think of anything that compares, off the top of my head.
True, I'm not cheap compared to the glorious Miss Sandy B. and her overmatched competition at a third of my price or less. In the grand scheme of things, though, pretty much all desktop computer hardware is affordable. The question is: do you value your time? I'm gonna save you five minutes every time you encode a video versus some cut-rate dual core, and eventually that's gonna add up to hours of time saved over my lifetime. Even an eco-weenie on a government grant pulls in a pretty good hourly wage. In the right context, my price tag shouldn't be too hard to justify. I've given you numbers that will let you justify it in terms of power savings, too, if you're into that kind of thing.
I understand I'm not for everybody, though. Some people just don't get me, and they're probably going to be all excited when the golden child finally makes her way back to market. Just remember that, even then, I'm your only ticket to a full 16 PCIe lanes across two slots or eight lanes across four slots. I'm still the Extreme one in the family, and I'm gonna be for the better part of 2011, at least.
My next mission? A full-body takedown of AMD's Bulldozer, yet another new architecture that's getting everybody all excited. Did you see what I did to the Phenom II X6? They can throw as many of their fancy "modules" at me as they want. They can copy my Turbo Boost mode. They can try to match my 32-nm prowess. I say: bring it. I can't friggin' wait.