okay, had enough trying multi combo's and formatted 3 times yesterday to single out specific drivers and finally a light bulb went off in my head! I simpley DISABLED the Killer NIC in the bios, and here is my mem usage now..... Finally back to normal. So something in the windows update and killer network drivers where not happy with each other. So now im just using the built in Intel AC wireless, and being 4 ft from the router, speeds are the same.
**Intel System** Asus Z390E Strix / 8700k @ 4.85Ghz / 32GB BDie @ 3200 CL14 / PowerColor 5700XT / eVGA 850w PSU / Sammy 960 EVO m.2 / MX500 250gb games SSD / 49" Samsung UltraWide 144Hz
**Games Only** Asus Maximus Formula XII / i9 10900k @ 5.3GHz / 32gb 4x8GB Patriot Viper DDR4 4400 @ 4133 / 2080Ti / Everything watercooled using Dual Loops and many 420mm rads