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Discussion Starter #1
Gah, I hate them, I want to murder my teacher so bad right now. I'm only like 3/5 done right now. This is what I have so far, someone read it so I don't write I'm going to murder you somewhere in it.

EDIT: This is a tiny assignment. But being king of procrastination I delayed it until tonight hooray
/sarcsm
 

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Quote:
[...] The Department of Defense, has slowly been reorganizing itself to be a more efficient organization, and to iron out the many intricate parts into a seamless structure or authority over the ever growing U.S Military. [...]
Should probably be:

Quote:
The Department of Defense has slowly been reorganizing itself to be a more efficient organization to iron out the many intricate parts into a seamless structure of authority over the ever growing U.S Military.

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Quote:
The Defense Department is off a somewhat stretched out nature with many parts and piece's moving together in harmony to keep our military moving.
Should probably be:

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The Defense Department is of a stretched out nature with many parts and pieces moving together in harmony to keep our military moving.

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There are 3 major entities that reside under the Department of Defense banner, the Department of the Army, Department of the Navy, and the Department of the Air Force.
Change the comma after banner to a colon.

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There are several other critical agencies, such as the National Security Agency, the Defense Intelligence Agency, and the NORAD (North American Aerospace Defense Command) at Colorado Springs.
Don't need a comma after agencies.

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Spending from each individual agency and projects as well, are included under the Department of Defense's whole budget, which is split into subsections to tally spending by each of these and other agencies.
It's not clear. Try something like:

Quote:
Spending from each individual agency and each agency's projects are included under the Department of Defense's whole budget, which is then split into subsections to moderate spending by each of these agencies.

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The subsidiary components of the Defense department, like the armed service branches, have a secretary that controls the departments operations, but is not on level with a presidential cabinet position.
to:

Quote:
The subsidiary components of the Defense department, such as the armed service branches, have a secretary that controls the departments operations. However, they are not comparable to a presidential cabinet position.
 

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9 Cans of Ravioli
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I'll stop there. Just proof read your stuff a few hours after you finish. If you don't proof read you'll miss stuff, and if you proof read right after you finish -- you might know what you're saying but the people reading it won't.
 

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Discussion Starter #4
Yeah, I'm still writing. My paper is becoming more complicated when I start throwing military terms at them.
 

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Its annoying and I hate it but, reading out loud really works well to proof.
 

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Discussion Starter #6
I still have to write more in the morning. If I don't get sleep, I fall asleep in my english class.
 
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