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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Register .co .uk
Security researchers have taken revenge on a publishing outlet that spams them with requests to write unpaid articles - by using a bogus submission to satirise the outlet's low editorial standards.

Hakin9 bills rather grandly bills itself as the "biggest IT security magazine in the world", published for 10 years, and claims to have a database of 100,000 IT security specialists. Many of these security specialists are regularly spammed with requests to submit articles, without receiving any payment in return.

Rather than binning another of its periodic requests, a group of researchers responded with a nonsensical article entitled DARPA Inference Checking Kludge Scanning, which Warsaw-based Hakin9 published in full, apparently without checking. The gobbledygook treatment appeared as the first chapter in a recent eBook edition of the magazine about Nmap, the popular security scanner.

In reality there's no such thing as DARPA Inference Checking Kludge Scanning (or DICKS, for short) and the submission was a wind-up. Nonetheless an article entitled Nmap: The Internet Considered Harmful - DARPA Inference Checking Kludge Scanning appeared as the lead chapter in recent eBook guide on Nmap by Hakin9.
Source

LOL read the whole thing, it's absolutely hilarious.
 

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Not sure if this is worth being news though lol
 

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A pre-blurb from the PDF.
Quote:
Special Thanks to the Beta testers and Proofreaders who helped
us with this issue. Without their assistance
there would not be a Hakin9 magazine.
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Also, lol'd at the Continuously Updating Nmap Technology System.
 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by [Adz] View Post

A pre-blurb from the PDF.
Quote:
Special Thanks to the Beta testers and Proofreaders who helped
us with this issue. Without their assistance
there would not be a Hakin9 magazine.
lachen.gif


Also, lol'd at the Continuously Updating Nmap Technology System.
lachen.gif
 

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Stay tuned, this list is updating as I die laughing...
It's kinda like the Spark Notes version...

Lol there is no way they thought this was actually going to get published...
Quote:
"We are grateful for noisy linked lists; without them, we could not optimize for complexity simultaneously with scalability."
Also, my favorite:
Quote:
"Any appropriate deployment of the exploration of voice-over-IP will clearly require that DHCP can be made electronic, autonomous, and certifiable; our framework is no different."
This is awesome. Hahaha
Quote:
"We performed a real-time deployment on our planetary-scale cluster to prove John McCarthy's construction of the Internet in 1986."
Quote:
"Further, we removed a 7TB USB key from our highly available cluster to consider our Xbox network."
This has to be the greatest collection of nonsense I've ever read, let alone get published... Hahahaha
Quote:
"We ran our NMAP system on commodity operating systems, such as MicrosoftWindows NT and Coyotos."
Quote:
"Figure 1.3: The 10th-percentile latency of NMAP, as a function of popularity of IPv7"
Screw it, just read the thing, the whole thing is just a gem... Hahaha
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by SectorNine50 View Post

Lol there is no way they thought this was actually going to get published...
"We are grateful for noisy linked lists; without them, we could not optimize for complexity simultaneously with scalability."
Also, my favorite:
"Any appropriate deployment of the exploration of voice-over-IP will clearly require that DHCP can be made electronic, autonomous,
and certifiable; our framework is no different."
This is awesome. Hahaha
"We performed a real-time deployment on our planetary-scale cluster to prove John McCarthy's construction of the Internet in 1986."
LOL
 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by SgtMunky View Post

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Not sure if this is worth being news though lol
Totally news worthy.

In any case it is great to see people expose these publications that do no vetting and take no real ownership or responsibilty for the content they publish. Hopefully less people will patronize such outlets and less advertisers will buy ads with such outlets.
 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by joshd View Post

LOL
Hahahaha it just got more and more absurd as I read on, that's awesome... Nice find!
 

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I.... what.... can't..... stop...

BAHAHA
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LOL love it when stuff like this goes unnoticed by editors of publications. especially ones that boast about being the best and whatnot.

great read
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"I guess they expected the security community to be impressed by their DICKS, but instead they faced scorn and ridicule," Lyon writes in a follow-up post to seclists. "Now they're so embarrassed by everyone mocking their DICKS that they had their lawyer send me a removal demand."

This had to be the best paragraph in the article. I could not stop laughing
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That was really good. I can't believe they were able to publish 9 pages of nonsense!

definitely worth the read for the lols.
 

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td;lr: LOL
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